Linux Tariffs

Completely and utterly unrelated.

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j_e_f_f_g
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Linux Tariffs

Postby j_e_f_f_g » Sat Aug 04, 2018 1:37 am

This morning, Trump administration officials announced significant new tariffs upon imported Linux distributions. The decision came after the president's meeting with Apple and Microsoft executives who complained that the dumping of imported linux distros was hurting the domestic operating system market. Tim Cook, Apple CEO, also accused foreign firms of violating Apple's USA patent on "the process of arranging atoms into physical objects". President Trump responded with a decision to raise tariffs upon imported linux distros by double, from the current 0% to a new rate of 20%. (Don't try to validate the math. This is the Trump administration after all.)

In particular, canadian distro AVLinux will be immediately levied with a 20% tariff. Tensions between the two countries' creative software communities heightened after AVLinux maintainer Glen MacArthur posted an instagram photo of himself holding what appeared to be a silhouette of Mickey Mouse's severed head dripping with blood. Justin Trudeau, a spokesperson for MacArthur (ie, canadian politicians aren't very important) argued "That wasn't blood. It was ketsup. And that wasn't a Mickey Mouse silhouette. It was a cajon-blackened steak Glen ate for lunch.".

Also affected by the new tariffs is the european distro KxStudio, maintained by "NATO foe" Felipe Coelho. Coelho has sent a letter of protest directly addressed to Donald Trump. When asked if Trump read the letter, Whitehouse press liar Sarah Hustle-Me Sanders replied "The president doesn't even read letters written in english, let alone one written in a language spoken in *hithole countries like Brazil".

Tensions between Trump and europe heightened when, during Trump's visit to the UK, he said about Queen Elizabeth that "her tits are so old and saggy, she doesn't need kneepads when gardening.".

On a completely unrelated and purely circumstantial matter, Trump signed an executive order removing the prohibition upon american firms from selling the Windows and iOS operating systems to russian computer hackers in the kremlin. NO COLLUSION!

The above information was provided by Fox News. So you know it's fair, and balanced, and may even bear a slight resemblance to reality.

Disclaimer: No banjo was injured during the drafting of this report.

But only because I don't own a banjo.

p.s. I'm back.

p.p.s. When it comes to fomenting angry mobs, khz is a rank amateur compared to me.

bhilmers
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby bhilmers » Sat Aug 04, 2018 3:20 am

This is some quality writing, thanks for the chuckle and wb.

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khz
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby khz » Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:49 am

:-D
j_e_f_f_g wrote:read

YT-LINK??
FZ - Does humor belongs in Music?
GNU/LINUX@AUDIO ~ /Wiki $ Howto.Info && GNU/Linux Debian installing >> Linux Audio Workstation LAW
    I don't care about the freedom of speech because I have nothing to say.

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tramp
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby tramp » Sat Aug 04, 2018 6:00 am

khz wrote::-D
j_e_f_f_g wrote:read

YT-LINK??


I believe it's fake news.
Trump loves linux.
You want a link, here you go:
Make GNU/LINUX great again
:lol:

j_e_f_f_g
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby j_e_f_f_g » Sat Aug 04, 2018 6:46 am

tramp wrote:it's fake news


I prefer to call it "genuine inuendo".

Trump loves linux


Actually, he prefers iOS because he thinks the "i" refers to him. In fact, his first search question was "Siri, how do I grab you by your *ussy?"

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khz
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby khz » Sat Aug 04, 2018 6:49 am

YT!!!
FZ - Does humor belongs in Music?
GNU/LINUX@AUDIO ~ /Wiki $ Howto.Info && GNU/Linux Debian installing >> Linux Audio Workstation LAW
    I don't care about the freedom of speech because I have nothing to say.

j_e_f_f_g
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby j_e_f_f_g » Sat Aug 04, 2018 7:48 am

khz from germany wrote:YT!


Mister Gorbachev, rebuild this wall.

Deal of the day: For the next 24 hours, anyone posting an insipid reply will receive one snide response free of charge. Offer not valid for banjo players -- you've suffered enough.

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davephillips
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby davephillips » Sat Aug 04, 2018 11:25 am

j_e_f_f_g wrote:Offer not valid for banjo players -- you've suffered enough.


"Banjos ? We don't need no steenking banjos !"

Still waiting for your album of ambient banjo lullabies...

Best,

dp

j_e_f_f_g
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby j_e_f_f_g » Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:35 pm

davephillips wrote:banjo lullabies


A banjo and lullabies go together about as well as an elephant and small porcelain figurines.

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Lyberta
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby Lyberta » Sat Aug 04, 2018 2:55 pm

j_e_f_f_g wrote:On a completely unrelated and purely circumstantial matter, Trump signed an executive order removing the prohibition upon american firms from selling the Windows and iOS operating systems to russian computer hackers in the kremlin.


Ha. As if russian people ever pay for software. They only torrent it.

jonetsu
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby jonetsu » Sat Aug 04, 2018 10:30 pm

42low wrote:
j_e_f_f_g wrote:This morning, Trump administration officials announced significant new tariffs upon imported Linux distributions.

Confused .... linux .... distributing .... free downloading?
Let them keep the DVD and download. Solved.


(Speechless) (And banjo less) Both amusing.

ssj71
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby ssj71 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 3:40 pm

nice to see you back jeff!
_ssj71

music: https://soundcloud.com/ssj71
My plugins are Infamous! http://ssj71.github.io/infamousPlugins
I just want to get back to making music!

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protozone
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Re: Linux Tariffs

Postby protozone » Mon Aug 06, 2018 8:31 pm

geez, don't scare me like that.
:shock: :wink: :lol:


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